Integrative Energy and Spiritual Well-Being, Healing and Coaching Newsletter (Spring, 2002, Issue 57)

by Philip H. Friedman, Ph.D Director: Foundation for Energy and Spiritual Healing, and Coaching and the Foundation for Well-Being P.O. Box 627 Plymouth Meeting, Pa. 19462 (suburb of Philadelphia) 610-828-4674 http://www.integrativehelp.com/ http://www.philipfriedman.com/ http://www.energyspirit.com/ You can read this and earlier newsletters on the internet at: http://www.integrativehelp.com/newsletter.asp You can email me at: integrativehelp@aol.com To subscribe to the FREE Integrative Healing: Energy and Spiritual Therapy, Coaching and Well-Being Newsletter send an email message to: CreatingWellBeing-on@lists.webvalence.com and put subscribe in the subject line. (c) All rights reserved WELCOME TO THE: “INTEGRATIVE HEALING: ENERGY AND SPIRITUAL THERAPY, COACHING AND WELL-BEING NEWSLETTER”. I want to thank the 1100 plus members of this List from 6 continents and everyone who has ordered my book, audiotapes, manual and the Friedman Scales from my new web site at: http://www.integrativehelp.com/books_tapes.html Secure credit orders are being processed very competently through the Wellnet-Secure Ordering Service. CONTENTS: A. FRIEDMAN HEALING TECHNIQUES: Special offer B. QUOTES: Inspired by Miracles C. EMOTIONS (UNPLEASANT) AS SIGNALS D. HEALING MEDITATIONS E. THE FRIEDMAN AFFECT SCALES A. FRIEDMAN HEALING TECHNIQUES In previous months I discussed the following ENERGY/SPIRITUAL HEALING TECHNIQUES which are described in my INTEGRATIVE HEALING MANUAL. A) ACT (renamed the ACTIVE CHOICE TECHNIQUE) B) CART (CREATING AND RECEIVING TECHNIQUE) C) HEART (HEALING AND RELEASE TECHNIQUE); D) LIGHT (LIGHT IMAGERY GRATEFUL HEART TECHNIQUE). E) MATT (renamed the MIRACLE ACTIVATION TRIGGER TECHNIQUE) F) TASTE (renamed the TRIGGER AND SOFT TOUCH TECHNIQUE) and POWERFUL IMAGERY HEALING TECHNIQUES ON AUDIOCASSETTE. 1. RELAXATION AND MEDITATION 2. CREATING AND MANIFESTING WHAT YOU WANT 3. BRIEF AND ADVANCED FORM OF MANIFESTING WHAT YOU WANT 4. FORGIVENESS 5. INNER JOURNEY TO THE HIGHER SELF 6. SELF-ESTEEM 7. GRATITUDE 8. SUNDAY (HEALING MUSIC) See http://www.integrativehelp.com/books_tapes.html See http://www.integrativehelp.com/healing_techniques.html SPECIAL TIME LIMITED OFFER This month as a SPECIAL TIME LIMITED OFFER I am going to include a FREE copy of my book CREATING WELL-BEING to anyone who orders the CREATING WELL-BEING AUDIOTAPE SET within the next 7 DAYS by credit card from my web site or by check sent directly to my P.O. Box 627 (see above) or a credit card number and expiration date faxed to me at 610-828-9366. The tapes like all my products have a 15 DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE. B. QUOTES: Inspired by Miracles (Excerpted from Inspired by Miracles by Dan Joseph. Copyright 2002 by Quiet Mind Publishing, LLC. For information on this excerpt or the book Inspired by Miracles go to: http://www.DanJoseph.info) “A Course in Miracles offers many insights on opening to the experience of a miracle, or an inner healing. I’d like to jump right to one of the most powerful tools in the whole Course. As I wrote earlier, the Course says that miracles are waiting for us all the time. We can accept a miracle – an experience of divine love – at any moment. The central blocks to miracles are our own unloving thoughts. By loosening our grasp on our dark thoughts, we open our minds to miracles. In this chapter, I’d like to add a few more ideas on this process. According to the Course, we often “store” our dark thoughts in the form of grievances toward people. Grievances (or resentments) are, in fact, among the most common “hiding” places for our dark thoughts. To illustrate this idea, let’s imagine our minds as being filled with rows of cubbyholes. Each cubbyhole represents a particular relationship in our lives. We have cubbyholes for our parents, our children, and our friends. We even have cubbyholes for people we haven’t seen in years. In each cubbyhole, we store various thoughts toward the particular person. Some of these cubbyholes contain largely benevolent thoughts. Others are filled with grievances and other dark thoughts. We may think that everything is stored away neatly. After all, we rarely “look” into most of these compartments. However, the fact that we’re not aware of our stored-away thoughts doesn’t mean that they’re not affecting us. The Course asks us to open up each cubbyhole, and clean out any dark thoughts that we’re storing inside. In doing this, we clear out the darkness from every corner of our minds. As an example of this, I may have a row of cubbyholes that represent people whom I haven’t seen in years. I may not think that it’s important to identify my thoughts toward these people – after all, I may never see them again. The Course, however, points out that my thoughts toward these people are still in my mind, and those thoughts may be blocking the full experience of a miracle. The Course asks me to open each cubbyhole, and let God flush out any dark thoughts I’m storing inside. I may decide to “take a look” at my thoughts toward a handful of people whom I haven’t seen in twenty years. As I begin to think of those people – and honestly identify my thoughts toward them – I may find a significant amount of resentment or anger stored away. As I give over those resentful thoughts to God, and exchange my grievances for miracles, my overall sense of peace is increased. The Course wants us to open up every cubbyhole – open every relationship to God. Although this process may seem overwhelming (after all, most of us have thousands of these “relationship cubbyholes”), I find that the practice forms a momentum. The first dozen, or hundred, compartments that we open may require a reasonable amount of effort. But then our minds become comfortable with the process, and things begin to flow more smoothly. This, in my opinion, is one of the most powerful practices in the Course. By identifying and releasing the “stored grievances” in our minds, we create a wide opening for God’s miracles to flow in. The practice requires honesty – even some courage. But the results can be felt in a very practical way. I often feel an increased sense of peace by allowing just one cubbyhole to be cleaned out by God. To summarize, there are two main points that I’m building on in this chapter. The first is that our dark thoughts are the primary blocks to miracles. The second point is that grievances are among the most common forms of dark thoughts. As we open up our grievances to God, and let Him replace them with miracles, our minds are healed. This will be my focus for the current chapter. Before moving on, I’d like to share an observation from my work with this type of practice. I occasionally find that there is some discomfort that arises when I first open a door on a locked-away relationship. Someone may come to mind whom I haven’t thought of in years – someone whom I have some grievances against. I immediately feel uncomfortable, and want to slam shut the door on that compartment. But if I take one more step, and say, “God, I have some dark thoughts toward this person. I didn’t realize it until this moment, but I don’t want to lock those thoughts away. Please take them, and replace them with your miracles,” I am taking a powerful step. The real challenge in this process is to turn the dark thoughts over to God instead of locking them back away in their cubbyhole. If we bury them away, says the Course, they won’t suddenly be resolved. They will simply be hidden. If we want our minds to be healed, we need to give God permission to wash these thoughts away, and give us a new perception instead.” (Inspired by Miracles by Dan Joseph is an excellent book that I highly recommend. It is filled with many valuable healing exercises, is very heart felt and uplifting. Certainly it is one of the best books to be inspired by *A Course in Miracles* in recent years. Inspired by Miracles is easy to read, filled with light and yet powerful. It is a must read for serious spiritual seekers.) C. EMOTIONS (UNPLEASANT) AS SIGNALS At the core there are only emotions, experienced as pleasant and unpleasant. Unpleasant emotions, however, are frequently/usually judged negatively. Only then are they called negative emotions. Unpleasant emotions are signals. COMMUNICATE: These emotional signals communicate: 1. That we are out of alignment with (separated from) our true Self. (light, love, peace, joy, strength, happiness, unity consciousness) 2. That we are feeling disempowered in some way. 3. That we are holding a grievance/unforgiveness/judgment against ourselves or someone else. 4. That we are holding on to a limiting belief. 5. That we lack self-regulation, i.e., our mind and emotions are untrained. 6. That we are experiencing something we don’t want. 7. That there is some imbalance in the relationship system(s) we are interacting with currently and or in the past. INFORMATION: These emotional signals provide us with information so that we can learn to make shifts that: 1. bring us into alignment with our true Selves (light, love, peace, joy, strength, happiness, unity consciousness) 2. reempower us 3. teach us to forgive ourselves and others 4. reinstate/reinforce/install enhancing or strengthening beliefs 5. permit us to learn self-regulation 6. allow us to focus on what we want 7. create a harmonious balance in the relationship system(s) we are interacting with currently or in the past. Frequently many of the above apply simultaneously. Most of the time they are different ways of saying the same thing. The most common emotions of guilt, anger, rage, fear, anxiety, sadness, , depression, shame, hurt, disappointment etc. are all unpleasantly experienced emotions that are emotional signals. They tell us, we and or our relationship systems, are off course in some way, i.e., an error has taken place in the journey through life that needs a course correction. Judging ourselves for having these emotions tends to lower our self-esteem/self-worth and create blocks/barriers to resolving them. There are no sins, only errors needing course correction. SOLUTION: Inherent within the problem (unpleasant emotion) though is the solution. The solution requires us to reconnect with our true Self ((light, love, peace, joy, strength, happiness, unity consciousness), reempower ourselves, forgive ourselves and others, replace limiting beliefs with enhancing/strengthening ones, learn to self-regulate, focus on what we want and rebalance our relationships. EFFECTIVE WAYS: Some of the most the most effective ways to do this is to: 1. CALL UPON A HIGHER PART OF OURSELVES (holy spirit, higher Mind, higher intuition, etc) as our guide. Contacting the higher part of ourselves can be done by quieting our mind, releasing our limited perspective(s) and listening within for inner guidance to a higher perspective. See exercises in my book and tapes at: See http://www.integrativehelp.com/books_tapes.html 2. REBALANCE THE MISALIGNED ENERGY Misaligned energy occurs when we are disconnected with our true Self. Realigning the energy can occur in a number of ways. One of the most effective is by tapping/touching/holding/breathing while in contact with the meridian acupoints or chakras. See my "Integrative Healing Manual: a Positive, Energy and Spiritual Psychology Approach" at: http://www.integrativehelp.com/healing_techniques.html#graphs and 3. USE POWERFUL IMAGERY TECHNIQUES See the "Creating Well-Being audiotapes" at: http://www.integrativehelp.com/books_tapes.html 4. ASSERTIVE TRAINING TECHNIQUES See http://www.integrativehelp.com/healing_techniques.html#graphs (Incidentally I did my Ph.D thesis 32 years ago on the Effects of Modeling and Roleplaying on Assertive Behavior). POLARITY Because we live in a world of polarity we tend to judge everything, including our emotions, as good or bad, positive and negative. As a result it is possible to construct scales that measures these emotions, judged positively and negatively. D. THE FRIEDMAN AFFECT SCALES (See http://www.integrativehelp.com/books_tapes.html) for example, measure 5 clusters of so-called positive emotions: joviality; self-assurance; attentiveness; peace and love and 5 clusters of so-called negative emotions: hostility; guilt; sadness; fear and fatigue. Each of the 10 subscales has 5 emotions each. The maximum positive emotions score is 100 (range 0-100) and the maximum negative emotions score is 100 (range 0-100). A total score is constructed by subtracting positive minus negative. (Total range is 100 to -100). People with very high levels of well-being have scores between 80 and 100. People with very low levels of well-being have scores between minus 20 and minus 50. The Friedman Affect Scale can be used to easily track change over time as it takes 3 minutes to complete and can be scored in 30-60 seconds. In fact I often have clients score it themselves. Successful therapy/healing will show consistent changes from the negative (minus) to the positive (plus) range. Extremely happy people have very high scores, sometimes even perfect scores of +100. E. HEALING MEDITATIONS: For those interested the following 3 excellent healing meditations  by The Reluctant Channel and Pati Beaudoin can be found on my Integrative Healing web site: Healing with the Senses; RC Meditation (Spring, 2002: 04/08/02) http://www.integrativehelp.com/archives_detail.asp?ID=46 Healing Torture, Childhood Betrayal and Pollution RC Meditation (Winter, 2002: 03/25/02) http://www.integrativehelp.com/archives_detail.asp?ID=45 Worthiness (Six Month Commemoration) RC Meditation (Winter, 2002: 03/11/02) http://www.integrativehelp.com/archives_detail.asp?ID=44 Copyright (c) 2002, all rights reserved. Permission is granted to copy or distribute the Integrative Healing: Energy and Spiritual Therapy, Coaching and Well-Being Newsletter so long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is attached. The author of this newsletter is Philip H. Friedman, Ph.D. Contact him by email at: integrativehelp@aol.com or for integrative life coaching or integrative therapy send an email to Coachwell1@aol.com or call 1-610-828-4674. Please do not post or list this information on any web site or other source without permission of the author. http://www.integrativehelp.com/ http://www.philipfriedman.com/ http://www.energyspirit.com/